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Don't Should On Yourself…

Hey, Lena here from the Wellness Fast Lane.

Tony Robbins has a saying: “We need to stop ‘shoulding’ all over ourselves.” He’s right.

A very dear and close friend – my twin flame friend – is going through a tough time right now. There are a lot of things up in the air for her and let’s just say things are a bit haywire to put it mildly.

I’ve been sending her lots of love and light and I’ve also lovingly had several supportive conversations with her to help her work through a few things.

I find that when I  help my friends, I always learn something.

Here’s what helping her has taught me:

In speaking with her, she kept saying things like “I should be over it by now” and “shouldn’t I be feeling better”?

My answer was an emphatic, “No!”

First, shoulding is bad. Call it a judgment or whatever. It just is. It sets us up for failure because no matter which way we go with it, we never quite measure up to our shoulds. I know I never measure up to mine :)

Second, things are what they are. If you know me, you know that I have a favorite saying: “It is what it is.”  Things aren’t what they could be, they aren’t what they should be. They just ARE.

So, how does this help me on my wellness journey? I’m not sure…other than recognizing that there is an art to being in the moment and dealing with things (notice I didn’t say accepting things) as they really, truly are. Not how they SHOULD be.

It’s easy to be in the moment when we’re on a tropical beach looking at a golden sunset. It’s not so easy when your life feels like it’s imploding. And, that’s where the work comes in…

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