Summer Evening Walk – Where Do Dragonflies Come From?

Aug 31st, 2010

Tonight there were at least 1,000 dragonflies on the levee – a sure sign of summer.  The hotter it gets, the more of them I see.  I’d never seen so many before, though.  Maybe it’s their last hoorah before the end of summer.  It occurred to me that I don’t know much about the life cycle of dragonflies.  How long do they live, what do they eat, how do they reproduce?  Where are they all going to go once it gets cold?  Do they just die and resurface next summer? 

I’m a city person – love nature – but don’t really know that much about the specifics.  I really appreciate the flora and the fauna and study it when I get curious – like now.  I see a Google search in my near future.  And the future is now.

I had no idea dragonflies started out in the water – and kind of ugly at that.  But fascinating.  Now to find out where they go before they die … to start the life cycle over again…..

Are there any insect experts out there who can add to the description provided in this short video?  Click the comment link below.

If you cannot see the video below, your work place is blocking it—I hope you can watch it at home or convince IT to allow this feature (a long shot but worth a try).  Once you click the arrow to watch, you will need to click the link to watch it on youtube – but it’s worth it.

Celebrating 90 Years – my mom

Aug 2nd, 2010

At age 90, finding out you’ve got an aggressive rare cancer (stage 4), moving from one assisted living apartment to another one several states away with a husband who has dementia and congestive heart failure–that’s a lot to take in, but mom’s doing it.  She comes from pioneer stock to be sure. 

In the past month,  mom and dad moved from their assisted living apartment in Sanford, NC to their new assisted living apartment in Chelsea, Michigan to be near family for mom’s remaining weeks or months.  The surgeon removed a third of her colon and discovered that it had spread to her abdominal cavity.  She was hopeful that she could do chemotherapy but was recently informed that chemo was not recommended in her case.  She’s taking it like a trooper but confessed she wishes she had a couple more years.  Her family does too.   Her kids are heading to Michigan this weekend to celebrate her 90th birthday.  Dad turns 87 in August so we’ll be celebrating his birthday too.

The video below was made last year when mom was released for a few hours from the rehab hospital where she was recovering from a stroke.  My sister Diane and I were visiting and clearing out their home of 24 years so they could move into assisted living in Sanford, North Carolina.   She has a missing tooth (it broke when she bit into a biscotti biscuit she received in a birthday basket—tough luck!).  Other than that, she looks pretty good for 88 don’t you think.  This little snippet is so funny – she has an infectious laugh and sense of humor.

I welcome your comments and stories about your family. 

A Wellness Moment When Life Takes a Turn

Jul 14th, 2010

With much flurry, I emailed my blog subscribers that the Spring Clean Your Body series would be extended through June….then I got the call that my mother had colon cancer.  After several nights of tossing and turning about the tossing and turning events of life, I headed to Sanford, North Carolina to the Parkview Retirement Community.  The day after arriving, I got mom out of the hospital (no easy task) and into a rehab hospital one hour away in Pittsboro (also no easy task).  After a Dairy Queen treat with my dad, we settled down for a few wellness moments of story telling.  With my handy Flip video camera I pressed the red record button and dad reminisced.

Even though he has dementia, he can recall old stories with a good deal of accuracy.  But at this stage in life, accuracy is less important.  In fact, if someone asks what he had for lunch and he doesn’t remember, he’ll make something up.  That’s pretty smart.  An accurate account of life is over rated when you have dementia or when you’re listening to a story you’ve never heard before. 

The next day I took him to the emergency room for congestive heart failure.  After a stay in ICU, he was released – so glad to go home—read the paper, take a nap, read Time magazine, take a nap, watch Larry King or CNN, take a nap, eat dinner, take a nap, and then go to bed.  It gets simple for old folks.  And complicated for their kids.

So here’s a peek into my dad’s life the day before hospitalization.  He tells stories about his 44 years of selling on the road. 

Caring for An Aging Parent (EAP Services)

Jul 14th, 2010

Over the next several days, I will share stories and interviews about the journey my siblings and I are taking with our aging parents. I’ll post several short video interviews of my mom and dad. Many of you are currently on this journey. And many have already completed this journey. I welcome your comments at the end of each post. Just click on the comment link.

If you have an EAP program at your place of employment, contact them for services associated with aging.

As we live increasingly longer lives, more and more of us are finding that our loved ones need ongoing and long-term care. This care often falls to grown children, individuals in their forties, fifties, and sixties who are busy with work and often times have children still at home. Most of us have heard of “getting caught in this care-giving sandwich,” but it can be a real emotional and financial burden. This is especially true if you are new to the responsibility.

If you are about to become a caregiver, here are a few things that you might want to consider. First, you’ll need to think about some legal and financial matters. To provide good care for an elder loved one, it may be necessary to deal with care facilities, insurance, powers of attorney, and many more complex issues.

Figuring Out What Needs to Be Done

The following is a checklist that can help you determine what your loved one may need. Don’t let it overwhelm you. Simply use it to make your own list of things to do or to research, if necessary. Then you’ll be in a better position to ask others for help with the short and long-term tasks.

Remember also, there may be many terms or phrases used in the information below that you are not familiar with. Again, don’t be overwhelmed. A simple call to the HealthQuest EAP can be a real “clarifier,” and a great place to start. You can get an eldercare expert to help at no charge!

Type of Care Needed

To determine the types of care your loved one may require, ask yourself the following questions:

• What kind of care does my loved one need now and how will that change in the future?
• Could my loved one be taken care of at home if he or she had help from a skilled nurse and/or a health aide?
• Would assisted living be appropriate for my loved one?
• Will he or she require a skilled nursing facility now or in the future?
• Does my loved one’s mental condition require him or her to have special care and housing?

Health Insurance and Medicare

The following questions will help you understand what kind of health care coverage your loved one has or may need:

• What are the likely costs of the care my loved one will need?
• What do Medicare & Medicaid cover?
• What kind of health insurance does my love one have, and what does it cover?
• What if my loved one doesn’t have long-term care insurance? Does he or she need it?

Taking Over Finances and Decisions

The time may come when you or family members need to make basic financial and health care decisions for your loved one. Be sure to get answers to these questions:

• Does my loved one have a living will (advance health care directive) or power of attorney for finances? If not, how can I help get the necessary documents?
• Is my loved one no longer capable of making his or her own decisions or consenting to a power of attorney?

End-of-Life Issues

Finally, here are some important issues to consider about wills and other arrangements at the end of life:

• Does my loved one have a will? If not, how can I help them create a legally binding will?
• Has my loved one communicated any wishes for final ceremonies and the disposition of his or her body?
• Has my loved one shared information on where to find important documents and passwords regarding bank accounts, retirement accounts, safe deposit boxes, stocks, life insurance policies, and wills or trusts?

Get Personalized Help

After you’ve reviewed the list above and have an idea of the tasks and issues involved, take a deep breath and remember that you can get the help you need. To begin, you can encourage your loved one to be as involved as possible in his or her care. Avoid taking control of tasks that your loved one can still perform. The more your loved one is allowed to do, the longer he or she will be able to maintain a sense of ownership over the course of his or her own life.

Then, make some phone calls. Your employer’s EAP program is a good place to start.

Finally, remember that caring for an elder relative is not easy, and you deserve all of the support you can get. During the hard times, it might help to remember that what you are doing is noble and generous. Whether or not your loved one is able to express it, he or she is fortunate to have someone who is willing and able to do the job you’ve taken on.

This article was provided by AlternativesEAP.

Missing in Action

Oct 7th, 2009

I’ve been missing in action again – helping my elderly parents with the transition to “independent” living.  This has been “The Year of The Parent” on the Chinese calendar.  Actually, it’s been more like two years, but who’s counting.

As soon as I get back to normal here at CherylMillerVille, I’ll fire up the blog posts and spread a little more health and happiness around.  Until then, how are you doing?  What’s up in your life?  What’s down in your life?  Leave a comment at the comment link below. 

My wild and Crazy Mother!

Jul 14th, 2009

I keep getting email updates from my sibs about my mother and her amazing journey to move into assisted living with my dad.  She’s 89  and he’s 86.  She just orchestrated a two-day garage sale–sold their new king sized bed, the guest bedroom suit, a whole room full of Ethan Alan furniture, cleared out the overstuffed attic (with hired help), bought a 10 year old Cadillac in excellent shape (she and my dad don’t drive!)  She just wants to have it parked outside their assisted living apartment.  And did you catch it that she’s 89!

Reports are that she’s flying high.  My sister wrote, “She is so giddy and footloose.”  This statement means more when you realize that she’s been a committed packrat and paper hound her entire life and wouldn’t let anybody throw anything out–I mean she’ll fiercely defend her stuff.  Clutter has been on ongoing battle between my mom and dad for their 65 year-long marriage.  Mom always won.  They’ve never parked their car in the garage.  It was stacked 10 feet high with boxes.

My sister and I spent 8 days decluttering (10 hour days) and mom said that really jumpstarted her (plus the recent stroke) and she’s on a fantastic roll.  Help is coming to her from every corner.  When that happens, you know it is meant to be.

We had hired a moving company at $125/hr to move them but she somehow came upon an Army crew that will do it for free because they’re both World War II vets.  She says that 60 Army men and woman are going to show up at their house on Wednesday morning 9am (tomorrow!) to move them to assisted living.  But we secretly wonder if it’s really 16 and she didn’t hear it right.  She lost her hearing aids so….. we question it.  She also broke off one of her front teeth recently so to look at her, you might discount her as helpless and hopeless.  Well….you’d have to think again because she’s an amazing powerhouse.

We’ve even spent way too much time worrying about them (meds, the move, decluttering, getting an apartment, moving their utilities, getting them off junk mail lists, etc.)  But we need to stop questioning her because she has managed to single handedly mastermind this amazingly complex move.  She’s so busy with the various crews that she doesn’t have time to talk to me without scheduling it!  I just called her and she sounds fabulous – youthful, energized, happy, and powerful!  And that makes me love her even more.  In fact, tears are just now springing to my eyes I love her so much!  I want them to have a chance to kick back and enjoy the newfound freedom (without the clutter) in their new apartment.  I hope it brings them joy and peace and opportunities to be fully who they are.

I need to get going to my women’s group….and as I wind this story down I’m thinking….Is this story stranger than fiction or what?  My sister wrote “Who is she and what have they done with Freda Miller???”   You’d have to know her to really see what a transformation is occurring.  My mother has been stubborn, resistant, demanding and more….but this stroke really changed her.  I think it made her more powerful, not less.  She’s really in the game.  She’s truly powerful!  She’s totally in command of her life and it’s inspiring.  I wish I was there to see it in person.

My dad has been the powerhouse until now and my mom quietly spaced out in the background reading, watching HGTV, and putting together slide shows of their trips to Israel, Australia …. to name a few.  Now my dad has dementia, has weakened physically….and my mom is reversing her role as the driver of the family.  I guess this is why we do marriages and partnerships.  We need the help when life takes a turn.  Isn’t this just a grand scheme of things!  I’m high too just thinking about the human spirit.  Aren’t we great!

OK I better quit before I have to get a Kleenex.  I think this is why they say honor your parents … because you never know, really, who they are.

Still Sad

Oct 29th, 2007

After Jasmine died, I thought I was doing really well.  I buried her, cleaned the house and went back to the daily tasks of living.  But I’ve noticed that I’m getting more sad instead of less sad.  I feel a little foolish when people ask me how I am, so I say fine.  Normally, I don’t fudge the truth.  But I really want to be private now.  Paradoxical considering I’m writing a blog post about this!

My heart is cracked wide open – and I guess maybe that’s a good thing – because it’s what is.  My compassion is deepening, my love is deepening, my life is deepening. 

Yes it’s just a dog.  But Jasmine was such a fabulous dog.  And it’s the first time I’ve been without a pet in 40 years.  That’s gotta be part of my grief – the whole pet thing – love ‘em and lose ‘em.  And I do so love my pets. 

A friend sent this comforting email newsletter from Steven Lane Taylor…

Dear Friends,

On television this week, I saw interviews with several families who lost their homes in the fires that raced across southern California. It was nice to see that all of these people recognized that, in the largest sense, life is not about things. It is about love. And even though their houses—and all of the things in them—were gone, each of these families felt extremely grateful and blessed to have each other.

The loss of one’s home, however, is still a very real—and very devastating—loss. And I think it is important to acknowledge that fact.

A home, as you well know, is much more than mortar and bricks, stucco and tile. It is much more than a structure, a shelter, or even—in some cases—a work of art. A home is a box of memories, containing cherished mementos, souvenirs, keepsakes, heirlooms, and photographs. All of those treasured things are physical symbols of the people and the experiences in our lives that we hold near and dear to our hearts.

Although the memories themselves remain intact, it is still understandably tragic when the “memory collage” that one has spent a lifetime constructing, has been destroyed by wind, water, fire, or a shift in the earth itself.

I often mention that one of the keys to living life in the divine flow (and fulfilling your heart’s desires effortlessly) is maintaining a positive attitude. But that positive attitude must be genuine. And that means that feelings such as grief, sadness, and sorrow must first be allowed to run their natural course.

As I recently wrote, living life in the divine flow is not about stuffing your feelings to maintain an “appearance” of positivity. There is such a thing aslegitimate suffering in life. It is not the kind of suffering that you bring upon yourself through needless worry or thoughtless actions. It is the kind of suffering that occurs most often with the sudden and unexpected loss of something, or someone, that you deeply love.

If you are dealing with a loss in your life right now, it is okay to go ahead and let yourself feel your feelings about it. In fact, it is necessary. Give yourself permission to experience all of your feelings freely and fully. Allow them to come, and go . . . and come again . . . and go again. It is the only way that they will eventually dissipate.

If, instead, you attempt to suppress those feelings, they will continue to exist at a subconscious level. And, in the end, that will just delay your ability to heal and feel joy again. And by “joy” I mean that underlying sense of appreciation for the total experience of life . . . a joy that embraces all of life’s twists and turns . . . a joy that may be best described as “bittersweet.”

To each of you who have recently lost a loved one, a beloved pet, or anything else that occupies an important place in your heart, please know that kindred spirits the world over are supporting you in the restoration of your sense of wholeness, and the recovery of your sense of peace.

Blessings to you all.

Steve

2007 Steven Lane Taylor

Living Life in the Divine Flow
October 28, 2007

  Another picture…..

and another with my niece, Clare ….

another with my dad….

Memorial to Jasmine

Oct 22nd, 2007

Light footprint, big impact. I just buried Jasmine under the pecan tree where she and Chelsea always crawled under the deck. It was a BIG hole. Then I walked down to the Kansas river to sit a spell and ponder all the wonderful help and guidance Jasmine and I have gotten from all sides of the Universe-both human and divine.

I’ve walked my dogs along that river since 1991. It felt really close and personal when I sat on the rocks by the shore. It made me philosophical and I remembered reading about Mother Teresa’s death.

When she died, she left behind only 5 possessions: two saris, a wooden bowl and spoon and her Bible. At the time I remember being ashamed that I had 5 telephones.

Jasmine left behind just a few simple objects too: her food and water bowls, her leash and collar, two dog beds, and a dog house (that was more for me than it was her since she rarely used it).

As I vacuumed her tufts of white fur from all the corners, I became aware that this was the last time I would do that. In an instant, a task that I had always disliked became a task I longed to have the opportunity to do again and again.

With the loving presence of Mother Teresa who equally embraced the leper, the beggar, and the starving child, Jasmine looked with love into my eyes always–no matter what.

I received an outpouring of cards, calls, and emails. I’m sharing them here as a tribute to Jasmine and the loving community who supports me when I slip, trip, or fall.

It’s raining here and I was just sitting here with the lights out looking out the terrace door thinking about Jasmine.

Joy-container
Angelic
Spirit-dog
Miracle
Infinite
Native
Everlasting

I loved Jasmine, I really did.

Jasmine is so blessed because she had so much love and light surrounding her. She was like the dog of a village of pioneer, magic women. Jasmine was ours and we were hers. Lena

There is no way to really explain to anyone else the connection that you have with a pet, especially a soul like Jasmine. I feel your loss. May you always know that love. Tomorrow, I will have my dogs send a message to dog heaven. We will miss her. Kris

I am so sad about Jasmine. I have been thinking of you all day. I was thinking that tomorrow was the day the vet was coming. I didn’t realize it would be tonight already. She was truly a beautiful spirit, and she was as lucky to have you as you were to have her. And all of us who were able to meet her were lucky, too, to have been touched by her in some way. She had a beautiful spirit, and her memory will linger always. My love and thoughts are with you tonight. Hugs, Tamara

So sorry to hear about Jasmine’s illness. I know how completely miserable it can be. I had to put my dog Banjo down last year and I wept from my heart. Hang in there and, as I know you will, remember the great buddy that you have had for so many wonderful years. xo Bob

I’m so sorry for your loss. Jasmine was a good friend and a lovely dog-person. It’s so difficult to see good friends decline and suffer. It was wonderful that the vet and tech came to your home so Jasmine could die peacefully with her person in her home. Reading your email made me cry, but I’m glad that you’re taking the time to ponder life and that you’re open to another pet in the future. I can’t thank Cookie enough for all the joy she has given me over the years. And she’s by my side, anxious that I’ve forgotten her walk. So I’d better take her. Know that I’m thinking of you and sending you good thoughts. Love, Claire

sunflowers by the gate

a big white dog waiting in the garden

not barking, calm, interested.

people having drinks on the back deck, animated,

full of pleasure – fluffy white dog at their feet, basking, not needy

giving as much as she received

giving more than we knew

nearby, the river flowing in ancient bed

not hating the ones that polluted her

trains full of coal screaming and humping by

laughter and fellowship at Cheryl’s -

people, and one great dog with boddhisattva eyes.

love,
Dixie

I’m so sorry to hear that Jasmine did not pull through. She sounds like she was a wonderful pet. I’m sure you have great memories of her that will be comforting.My best, Dennis

I am so sorry for your loss. I know how much you loved her and how special she was. My heart goes out to you. I know she’ll be hanging around to watch over you.I’ll always remember the Community rock. Love you, Lana

I am so very sorry to learn of the death of your beloved pet. She was a beautiful dog, and so devoted to you. I’m glad I got to meet her when we were in Lawrence. Losing a pet is a great loss–they are our unconditionally loving companions, which is more than you can say for some people! It sounds to me like you’re doing all the right things to take care of yourself. The river was a special place for me (and Oliver) when I lived in Lawrence, so I truly understand your feelings for it. If you find yourself wanting a change of scenery, please remember you are always welcome to visit us. With love and understanding, Sandy

I am so sorry about Jasmine. It is 10:00 AM now, I’m at work but I can’t help crying. Don’t know what to say but my heart is with you. Please call me when you can. Najah

Jasmine was such a great friend. I am so very sad she is gone. I am sorry and will keep you in my prayers. Tony (my handyman wrote this at the bottom of his invoice for recent work – really sweet!)

Thanks for letting me know about Jasmine. What a wonderful doggy soul! Although I’m saddened by her departure from this plane, I’m so very grateful for the time she and I had on your porch that day. I’ve never had a dog just open up to me in that way, and it was very wonderful. I’m also learning a lot and taking to heart your journey. What a brave and beautiful soul you are as well! Thanks for being part of my life. Love and blessings, Jo

Reading about Jasmine was the last thing I expected this morning. I just sat down to go through the emails from our vacation. I’m so sorry. I know that you had some time to be with Jasmine to think about it and get used to the idea because your last email was very calm and bittersweet. It looks like you have a busy weekend ahead, but I’ll call and see if we can connect at some point. Today is Chris’ 50^th birthday so we are going to be out part of the day celebrating. I wish I was there to hold your hand and just be with you. I love you very much. Diane

Hi Cheryl, I hope you don’t mind but I can’t stop crying! I know how you feel and it will take some time to get through all of this. You are doing the right thing by staying busy. As much as I want a dog in my life I just can’t yet. Losing my Jezebel 5 yrs ago this Oct. is still tugging at my heart and she is missed so much. Kiwi and Hodge (my cats) that died will always be in my heart. Please remember that you are in my prayers and thoughts. Love, Justine

I am sorry for your loss, Cheryl. It is a hard thing to lose a close friend. You were both good to each other and she had a wonderful life as a result of finding you. Dogs are amazing creatures. They change our lives in small subtle ways that leave a deep lasting meaning that there are no words to fully describe. I always have found it cruel that their life is so much shorter than ours….but that is just my selfishness. They burn 4 times as bright while they are here. I will be thinking about you and Jasmine today. Love, Chris

I was ironing Sunday afternoon and at 5:10 had a strong feeling of grief. I thought of you and Jasmine, knowing you were in turmoil. We are thinking about you and your “happy” life with Jasmine. I know Hannah is also very sad. I like to think of Jasmine’s heaven looking like your levy! In the fall when lots of leaves and mud. Love you Beth

I wish I could just take away all the pain I know you are feeling – but only time can do that. Just remember that Jasmine will always be with you – in your heart. Your friend, Betty

 

I’m so sorry to hear about Jasmine. She was a very sweet dog. I’m sure you miss her very much. My thoughts re with you. Ann

I’m so, so sorry. I know she was a huge part of your life. I’ll say a prayer for Jasmine — and you. Carol

i am so sorry to hear about jasmine – what a wonderful spirit she had. it is an honor to have met her and played with her. you are in our thoughts and prayers. blessings, cathy and bettie

What a wonderful thing that you had a nice sunny day so that you could sit and contemplate the great gifts that Jasmine brought you. I’m sorry for your loss. You have such a great attitude. This email brought tears to my eyes-not just because I can imagine how difficult this transition is for you, but because I am inspired by your outlook and ability to look at all life situations as valuable opportunities to grow and move forward. I love you, and will give you a call next weekend. Love Michele

Oh, Cheryl, I’m so sad that you had to say goodbye to your dear friend! Jasmine was a wonderful companion for you, just as you were for her. You were lucky to have found each other. And you are right, when the time is right, I know another animal companion will make his/her way into your life. A big hug to you in this poignant time! Love, Deborah

Oh, love and loss and sadness, damn it. It brings up memories of my own pain to know that you are experiencing all that now. Somehow it is all part of life and we must be in it.

Blessing Jasmine, spirit dog, and my Tip, spirit dog.
Blessing you, Cheryl. You are beautiful and loving and inspiring. I appreciate your friendship, Sharon

In addition to the prayer, let me know if there is anything else you need. Some say i’m a good listener (anytime). Love, Jena

Oh my! I’m so sorry to hear your dear Jasmine was ill and had to leave the planet! I have found the loss of my “pets” to be the hardest thing in this world, often even more so than the loss of lovers! [perhaps because I found the love shared was more perfect and less fraught with pain]. You guys were so bonded and had so many lovely walks and adventures. She was definitely a big force and presence and your life will really feel different without her. She was so solidly there, that I imagine it will mean a big empty space in your life and home for a while.

My last big dog, Ben, had lameness and then cancer was discovered and no chance of survival, so the vet “put him to sleep.” This was just after Tom and I broke up, and Ben lived with him. I was sorry that Ben died in the vet clinic, as he truly hated that place. Once he wouldn’t get out of the car there when he was going for shots, and it was like trying to push around a 100 lb pile of cement blocks with skin on them. Maybe he had a premonition. I finally started crying in frustration, and he jumped right out! I like that the vet and tech came to you.

A friend in CA had a cat named Jasmine, and the vet came to her home and put her to sleep. Later that day I went over and we buried her near the deck (she was a tiny delicate being–like 6 lbs–and so not what you faced), and then we planted a jasmine plant on the top of her burial place so that it would twine up over the base of the deck, and waft soft scents into the windows, as a kind of living memory of her sweetness. It’s good to have a ritual to go though something so difficult.

I got to spend the weekend with the Dalai Lama last week at a teaching on emptiness–how everything we think of as important and real doesn’t last and only compassion and detachment matters. Your note shows that teaching in action.
Keep taking especially good care of yourself, and doing the next right thing! With love and sadness, Priscilla

Would you like to leave a comment? I invite you to leave a comment about Jasmine or any pets you have loved and lost.

No Hot Dogs Please!

Jul 24th, 2007

Don’t leave your dog in the car when it’s hot!

Normally I’m really nice and rarely do I tell people what to do….unless it’s about this topic…leaving dogs in a hot car.  Then I can get very directive.

I can’t tell you how many time I’ve been out on a hot day and have seen a poor, hot dog panting inside a car.  I tell you it freaks me out!  I’m totally unreasonable about this topic.  Don’t do this!

Imagine wearing a fur coat on a hot day sitting in a car with the sun beating down.  You have no way to open the car door to get out.  How do you feel?  You have no idea how long you’ll be in that hot car.  Your driver (the one who supposedly adores you) got sidetracked by an old friend, stopped for a soda, and remembered another errand s/he had to run. 

Oh my 45 minutes … no, an hour has gone by.  They only meant to run in and out.  Funny how time flies when you’ve left your dog in the hot car unattended and you’re in the air conditioning! 

Depending on the temperature, the situation can get serious in a hurry.  Hey I’ve gotta stop writing about this, the visual is freaking me out.

Leave your dog at home!  If you MUST take your dog in the car on a hot day, do not leave him or her in the car – even in the shade, even with the windows partly rolled down – remember the fur coat!  And forget about parking in the sun – even with the windows rolled down. 

And all of this is doubly true for kids – do not leave them in a hot car!  I wouldn’t think I’d even have to say this….but unfortunately it happens.

When Life Happens, What Do You Do?

Mar 27th, 2007

Because I’m a super sensitive person (and wellness nut), I design my life to support healthy, happy living . . . hence my business tagline.  But sometimes, all heck breaks loose and LIFE HAPPENS.  This is a story about how stressed I’ve gotten recently and what I’ve learned to do about it.

For the past 9 months I’ve been working with an amazing team of people (consultants, vendors, benefits staff) to develop wellness initiatives for close to 100,000 people.  The team is starting from ground zero as if we know very little about how to design a wellness program.  We’re inviting “best practice” groups to make recommendations and submit proposals from which we will select the best of the best in combinations that have yet to be explored.  Very exciting.  And very stressful.

Suddenly my life is not my own (that’s just an expression but there’s some truth to it).  I’ve got conference calls, late night meetings, reports to write, proposals to evaluate - all on timelines and deadlines.  I’ve had to cancel personal appointments, work late, work early…you get the picture. 

Mind you, I’m not used to this!  Normally, I orchestrate all aspects of my world – I’ve designed a life of health and happiness, right? 

In this midst of deadlines for this project, I packed up to go to a wellness conference in Orlando–a fabulous resort that I didn’t have more than 30 minutes to enjoy literally “outside” of the meetings.  Pooh! 

Before leaving town, I’d also gotten an email with this subject line:  “Mom is in the hospital.”  A chill ran through me and I dropped everything.  My mom informed me that she has a 24-inch blood clot in her leg from her groin to her ankle as well as several other blood clots.  The doctors put her on blood thinners and released her.  I asked if she had a treatment regimen – recommendations for diet and exericise.  She said NO! 

Because she’s a smart cookie, she made appointments with her family doctor and a vascular specialist. 

Yesterday she described her leg as being a log that she has to drag around with her.  That image is chilling to me.  Because she’s 86, this condition is unusually troubling.  My dad keeps goading her to get up and move – and, you guessed it, that makes her mad.

When I returned from the conference and picked up my dog, Jasmine, from the kennel, she seemed fine.  But when I took her on a walk she was hobbling and even went down in the hips a few times.  That sent me over the top.  All of the vet offices were closed…what to do!  

Here’s what I did.  I breathed, tuned in, and asked for help.  And I got it.  I “heard” that I should get some glucosamine so that’s what I did.  Almost immediately I saw improvements.  I’m still watching.

With the swirl of stressors around me I started to take it personally, like I was in a white water raft without a paddle.  But I know from experience that feeling like a victim doesn’t help.  I have an incredible need for harmony and peace in my life, and I constantly work toward creating it.  I know that things will get better…I just don’t know how everything will play out.

Because a meeting went late today I was afaid that I’d have to cancel my monthly massage.  But providence was on my side and my fabulous massage therapist was willing to see me later than usual.

I had a fabulous massage and a mini counseling session too!  I felt nurtured, tweaked, set straight, and all-in-all back in the raft headed toward calmer waters.

The stress from the past weeks has fallen away and I have a renewed sense of peace and purpose.  And I’m armed with a new stress management technique (given to me by my massage therapist) that I’m committed to practicing for a few minutes throughout the day every day.  In scientific studies, this mental exercise has been shown to moderate stress by changing body chemistry.  In future posts I’ll let you know how it’s going.

The other piece of great news is that this stressful time has caused me to think through my life choices and find new and better ways to manage life when stress shows up…as it does for all of us.

Here are a few of the ways (in addition to my monthly massage) that I’ve worked through stress during these challenging times:

• I’ve called and talked with my sister and a couple of friends – one of whom is a counselor and one who is a business strategist.  It pays to have a diverse bunch of friends!
• I’ve scanned my personal library for books to give me guidance and comfort.
• I’ve practiced deep breathing, prayer, and meditation on a regular basis.
• I’ve continued to get out in nature and take my daily walks.
• I’ve stopped scheduling anything new so that I can clear the decks and get on top of what’s already on my plate.
• I’ve taken time to flex my schedule so I can get some well-needed rest and sleep.
• I’ve had energy healing with my fabulous friend Karmel of Spirit Whispers.

Even so, with all of these wellness strategies in hand, I’ve been on edge.  Imagine if I’d not had these healthy habits to fall back on and provide a buffer for life’s demands.  I shudder to think of it.

Is my story sounding familiar?   Have you experienced anything similar?  Judging from my friends, family, and acquaintances, most of us have. 

Comments please…

Would you share your journey through a troubled time and tell us about how you managed to get through it?  What healthy habits helped you land on your feet?  See the link below where you can make a comment?  Click that link and let us know your stress management secrets.  What’s worked for you?  Your story may help someone else.  Please share with us.

Special Offering…

Also, look for my March newsletter –Healthy, Happy Living–coming out this Thursday.   I will make an announcement about a small group forming around living a healthy, happy life.  You’ll have an opportunity to sign up for the Healthy Habits Wellness Action Group starting in May.  You can be one of 10 people committed to putting one healthy habit in place – you choose which one.  I’ve developed a dynamite agenda for the program.  I can’t wait to get it started.