Nighthawks on the Kansas Levee

Jul 20th, 2010

The other evening while walking on the Kansas levee with Toby, I watched the nighthawks dive bombing for insects. Their wings look like boomerangs.  So when I got home that night, I did a google.com image search to find a picture to see if I was right to call them nighthawks.   My search brought me to a little audio lesson (a few seconds) that tells about the bird and its song.  Here ‘tis:  http://www.birdnote.org/birdnote.cfm?id=198  (click to play the MP3).  Note, the bird is really not a hawk but in the whippoorwill family.

What’s the tie-in with wellness?  Nature.  When we have a strong connection with nature, life is more interesting.  In fact, I drove home from the dentist in torrential rain just now.  Lightning all around me.  My wipers couldn’t keep up.  After a quick prayer of safety for everyone traveling, I anticipated coming home and throwing open my front and back doors so the energy of the storm could move through my home.  Love it!  The temperature dropped 20 degrees or more – a welcome respite from the scorching heat. 

The wind was so fierce the rain blew in both the front and back doors.  So I propped my heavy umbrella in the doorway to keep the rain from the hard wood floors (mostly).  I can think of nothing more relaxing than sitting in my oversized chair enjoying the surround sound of rain and thunder. 

Without a connection to nature we’re more likely to be afraid of bugs and stay cooped up inside our cars, homes, and office buildings.  And if we really lose sight of the benefits of nature, we may start to trash the landscape and use up more than our share of the natural resources.  Without a regular dose of nature, we’re more likely to feel stressed.  Spending time in nature has a dramatic calmative effect.

As I started this description about why it’s important to  have a connection with nature, a loud clap of lightening enlivened me (read: startled me).  What a great way to revive one’s energy.  I was getting a little sleepy on the drive home….until the rain hit.  Now I’m alive, alert, awake, enthusiastic – just like the Girl Scout song says.  I found several renditions of this song on youtube – from many different cultures.  I thought I was the only one who thinks that song is cool!  And fun!

How does nature impact your wellness?  Share at the comment link below.

Weekend Chores – Like Money in the Bank

Jul 19th, 2010

You get home from a long, tiring day…..open the fridge……see a wall of produce in plastic bags…..shut the door and head to Taco Bell or Applebee’s.  The same thing happens the next day because you’re even more tired and busier.  By day 3 or 4 you get an attitude about it (annoyed with yourself for being lazy and wasteful, annoyed at your spouse because he/she doesn’t cook, frustrated with your busy family life that gets you to bed by 11 and up by 6 – day after day).  Finally on the weekend you clean out the drippy mess and either put the fruits and veggies in the real compost pile or in the trash and vow to do better. 

I’ve done this myself so I know what I’m talking about. 

One secret to success is to keep a list of everything perishable that’s in your refrigerator so you can plan meals.  Take the list to work with you and while on break or enjoying  your morning tea, ponder the list for meal ideas.

Another secret is to better manage your fridge, and do it on the weekend or whenever you feel you have the most time.  It doesn’t sound appealing, but it’s very satisfying to take everything out, see what you have, and then put it back in an orderly way.  If you have a few extra minutes, prep as many of the fruits and veggies as you think you’ll eat in the next few days. 

I just did this and I feel very virtuous.  Now I can start the week with a hopeful attitude about cooking and eating at home.  In fact, while I was cleaning and organizing my fridge, I made a salad for tomorrow and bagged up snack baggies of cherries and grapes. 

I’m not always successful, but I like to get the week off to a smooth start by getting the following chores done on the weekend:

• getting groceries
• planning meals for the week
• cleaning and organizing the refrigerator
• doing laundry
• changing the bed sheets
• mowing the lawn
• calling friends and family (not really a chore but it’s on my mental list each week)
• cleaning, dusting, and vacuuming

And if I really want the week to go smoothly, I spend several hours doing whatever I want to do relaxing and having fun.  If all I did was chores, I would soon see the corners of my mouth droop – and no one wants to see that.  So I have plenty of fun too.  This weekend I lounged on my deck for hours working on a writing project, had a wonderful brunch with my Lawrence “family,” and bowled for the first time in decades.  Thankfully they now have automatic scoring.  My first game was 112 and the second was 165.  Then we celebrated with a snow cone – another thing I haven’t done for decades.  So it was a great weekend and I’m ready for the week ahead. 

How about you?  Leave your comments and stories at the comment link below.

A Wellness Moment When Life Takes a Turn

Jul 14th, 2010

With much flurry, I emailed my blog subscribers that the Spring Clean Your Body series would be extended through June….then I got the call that my mother had colon cancer.  After several nights of tossing and turning about the tossing and turning events of life, I headed to Sanford, North Carolina to the Parkview Retirement Community.  The day after arriving, I got mom out of the hospital (no easy task) and into a rehab hospital one hour away in Pittsboro (also no easy task).  After a Dairy Queen treat with my dad, we settled down for a few wellness moments of story telling.  With my handy Flip video camera I pressed the red record button and dad reminisced.

Even though he has dementia, he can recall old stories with a good deal of accuracy.  But at this stage in life, accuracy is less important.  In fact, if someone asks what he had for lunch and he doesn’t remember, he’ll make something up.  That’s pretty smart.  An accurate account of life is over rated when you have dementia or when you’re listening to a story you’ve never heard before. 

The next day I took him to the emergency room for congestive heart failure.  After a stay in ICU, he was released – so glad to go home—read the paper, take a nap, read Time magazine, take a nap, watch Larry King or CNN, take a nap, eat dinner, take a nap, and then go to bed.  It gets simple for old folks.  And complicated for their kids.

So here’s a peek into my dad’s life the day before hospitalization.  He tells stories about his 44 years of selling on the road. 

Caring for An Aging Parent (EAP Services)

Jul 14th, 2010

Over the next several days, I will share stories and interviews about the journey my siblings and I are taking with our aging parents. I’ll post several short video interviews of my mom and dad. Many of you are currently on this journey. And many have already completed this journey. I welcome your comments at the end of each post. Just click on the comment link.

If you have an EAP program at your place of employment, contact them for services associated with aging.

As we live increasingly longer lives, more and more of us are finding that our loved ones need ongoing and long-term care. This care often falls to grown children, individuals in their forties, fifties, and sixties who are busy with work and often times have children still at home. Most of us have heard of “getting caught in this care-giving sandwich,” but it can be a real emotional and financial burden. This is especially true if you are new to the responsibility.

If you are about to become a caregiver, here are a few things that you might want to consider. First, you’ll need to think about some legal and financial matters. To provide good care for an elder loved one, it may be necessary to deal with care facilities, insurance, powers of attorney, and many more complex issues.

Figuring Out What Needs to Be Done

The following is a checklist that can help you determine what your loved one may need. Don’t let it overwhelm you. Simply use it to make your own list of things to do or to research, if necessary. Then you’ll be in a better position to ask others for help with the short and long-term tasks.

Remember also, there may be many terms or phrases used in the information below that you are not familiar with. Again, don’t be overwhelmed. A simple call to the HealthQuest EAP can be a real “clarifier,” and a great place to start. You can get an eldercare expert to help at no charge!

Type of Care Needed

To determine the types of care your loved one may require, ask yourself the following questions:

• What kind of care does my loved one need now and how will that change in the future?
• Could my loved one be taken care of at home if he or she had help from a skilled nurse and/or a health aide?
• Would assisted living be appropriate for my loved one?
• Will he or she require a skilled nursing facility now or in the future?
• Does my loved one’s mental condition require him or her to have special care and housing?

Health Insurance and Medicare

The following questions will help you understand what kind of health care coverage your loved one has or may need:

• What are the likely costs of the care my loved one will need?
• What do Medicare & Medicaid cover?
• What kind of health insurance does my love one have, and what does it cover?
• What if my loved one doesn’t have long-term care insurance? Does he or she need it?

Taking Over Finances and Decisions

The time may come when you or family members need to make basic financial and health care decisions for your loved one. Be sure to get answers to these questions:

• Does my loved one have a living will (advance health care directive) or power of attorney for finances? If not, how can I help get the necessary documents?
• Is my loved one no longer capable of making his or her own decisions or consenting to a power of attorney?

End-of-Life Issues

Finally, here are some important issues to consider about wills and other arrangements at the end of life:

• Does my loved one have a will? If not, how can I help them create a legally binding will?
• Has my loved one communicated any wishes for final ceremonies and the disposition of his or her body?
• Has my loved one shared information on where to find important documents and passwords regarding bank accounts, retirement accounts, safe deposit boxes, stocks, life insurance policies, and wills or trusts?

Get Personalized Help

After you’ve reviewed the list above and have an idea of the tasks and issues involved, take a deep breath and remember that you can get the help you need. To begin, you can encourage your loved one to be as involved as possible in his or her care. Avoid taking control of tasks that your loved one can still perform. The more your loved one is allowed to do, the longer he or she will be able to maintain a sense of ownership over the course of his or her own life.

Then, make some phone calls. Your employer’s EAP program is a good place to start.

Finally, remember that caring for an elder relative is not easy, and you deserve all of the support you can get. During the hard times, it might help to remember that what you are doing is noble and generous. Whether or not your loved one is able to express it, he or she is fortunate to have someone who is willing and able to do the job you’ve taken on.

This article was provided by AlternativesEAP.

Do Your Moods Control You?

Jun 9th, 2010

The secret to successfully sticking with a healthy diet or exercise routine is the mastery of your moods.  When I quit smoking 20 years ago, I used to say “I’m too bummed to eat a salad” and I’d order a cheeseburger and fries.  I wanted comfort foods because I no longer had the comfort of my cigarettes.  Since then I’ve learned a hundred ways to self-soothe, and still my moods challenge me to stay the course at times.  Og Mandino has the key:

“Henceforth I will recognize and identify the mystery of moods in all mankind, and in me. From this moment I am prepared to control whatever personality awakes in me each day. I will master my moods through positive action and when I master my moods, I will control my destiny.” Og Mandino

What positive actions can you take today to help you stay the healthy, happy living course?  Some possible actions include having a personal vision for healthy living, keeping healthy snacks in your desk drawer at work, planning the meals for the week so you aren’t caught at 7pm with no healthy food in sight.  What ideas do you have?  Please comment at the link below.

Secret to Reduce Your Stress Level

Jun 8th, 2010

Any cleansing cleansing program can be amplified by a cleansing of negative thoughts and feelings. Angry or stressful thoughts can wreak havoc on our health and well-being. The Loving Kindness Meditation as taught by Buddha has been practiced for decades to great effect. Try it for a few days and watch how it works in your life to bring peace and calm.

Close your eyes and imagine people you love (or just one person) as you mentally recite these words (slowly):

Breathing in, I breathe in the world’s pain.

Breathing out, I send it healing love.

May all beings be happy.

May all beings be peaceful.

May all beings be kind.

May all beings be free.

Next, visualize people (or a person) you do not know well – a neutral person (e.g., check out clerk, someone you see in your building) and recite these words slowly again:

Breathing in, I breathe in the world’s pain.

Breathing out, I send it healing love.

May all beings be happy.

May all beings be peaceful.

May all beings be kind.

May all beings be free.

Finally, visualize someone in your life who you feel is difficult to be around or someone you are having conflict with. Repeat the following words with this person in mind:

Breathing in, I breathe in the world’s pain.

Breathing out, I send it healing love.

May all beings be happy.

May all beings be peaceful.

May all beings be kind.

May all beings be free.

Let us know how this stress reduction practice works for you. Do you practice other stress reduction exercises?

Have You Had Your Laugh Today?

May 22nd, 2010

My dad was a salesman for close to 60 years.   Most of his clients were men and humor was an important part of their language.  He told a wide variety of jokes – some of them shared in private, just for men.  I used to roll my eyes.  I was such a snob.

Dad has dementia now and can remember only one joke.  So I no longer groan when he asks “Have you had your laugh today?”  I act like I’ve never heard his joke and he gets a big kick out of it.  And so do I.  Here’s the joke:  Do you know how to make holy water?  No, how?  You boil the hell out of it.  See why I used to roll my eyes.

So if you haven’t had your laugh today (and you love dogs), watch this short video.

Do you have any funny jokes to share?  See the comment link below….share your humor there.

Day 36 All About My New Look

May 3rd, 2010

I walked Toby on the levee this evening in my garden clogs and that was not a good idea.  About a mile in to the walk, the shoes rubbed a blister on the top of my foot.  Ouch.   I didn’t have any socks or a Band-Aid so I decided to head back rather than tough it out.  Ouch ouch ouch.  It really started getting raw and sore.  In a stroke of genius, I decided to try putting my shoes on the opposite feet like 3 year olds do.  And it worked.  The shoes did not rub me in the same spot so I was able to walk more comfortably.  But, Crocs on the wrong feet is not a good look.  Although there was no one on the levee at the time, it occurred to me that someone could come along and think I was a little strange – just judging my weird shoe behavior. 

I scanned my ego to see how I’d feel about being seen with my shoes on the wrong feet.  I should say with orange shoes on the wrong feet.  I decided to just keep walking and see how it went.  If I saw somebody like Brad Pitt or Robert Downey, Jr. I’d swap them back in a heart beat.  But those guys never walk on the Kansas levee so I figured I wouldn’t be too embarrassed no matter who approached. 

Then the test.  I saw two people walking in the distance with a small dog.  As they approached we talked about the dogs and they never looked at me or my weird shoes.

In my mind I was giving myself points for walking, subtracting points for wearing shoes that hurt my feet, adding points for coming up with the switching feet solution, subtracting points for worrying about what others thought, and adding points for keeping them on the wrong feet when the other walkers approached me.  It was a fun little game.  I love dog people – they focus their entire attention on dogs.  You can get away with murder – even wearing orange Crocs on the wrong feet.

Have you got any odd or interesting stories to tell about your life that made you be creative, relax, or accept yourself?

Day 15 Handling Special (Food) Events

Apr 11th, 2010

Spring Clean Your Body

Recently, I celebrated my birthday.  Birthdays and holidays present special eating challenges.  There are family celebrations featuring a host of temptations—abundant food displays, high fat options, desserts, expectations, etc.  Thankfully, for my birthday there was no birthday cake.  In fact, the friends I usually celebrate with were out of town so I did not have a lot of temptations.  But I noticed that eating out several times this week, even selecting the healthiest options on the menu, activated food cravings.  I’ve been doing so well I thought I had escaped the cravings.  Not so much!

Besides eating out a couple of times, I’ve also gotten less sleep than I need.  My mother called for my birthday and we talked until past 11am.  The alarm woke me at 6am … I was tired and ready to roll over.Sprin

As you have probably heard from the recovery field, it’s not a good idea to get Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired (HALT) and I was 3 of the 4.  To recover and regain my balance, I went to bed the next night at 8:30 to read and fall asleep early.  You’ve heard that life looks much better after a good  night’s sleep.

What do you do when you have cravings?  Do you cave in?  Distract yourself?  Go to sleep?  Tell us at the comment link below.

Difficult People: How to Deal with Them

Mar 22nd, 2010

Difficult People: You Can Deal With Them

Everyone is irritable or indecisive at times. But some people are so difficult, they make others’ lives and work a strain. Dealing with difficult people is easier when you learn to recognize some common personality types. You can then develop coping skills for dealing with each type without trying to change them.

Worth the Effort

You can’t always avoid difficult people. Learning to cope with them is worth the effort. You’ll get more done and be less frustrated if you do.

Difficult Personality Types
Following are some of the behavior types that most people have difficulty with:

• Bullies are hostile and angry throwing tantrums to get their way.
• Gripers complain about things they don’t like but rarely try to change their situation.
• Silent types don’t say much. You can beg, yell or talk to them, but they don’t say more than "yes" or "no."
• Very nice people seem to agree with you but won’t do what they say they will.
• "Just say no" types respond to new ideas by saying, "That won’t work."
• "I know better" types think they know everything, and they can also be very condescending.
• Stallers put things off until someone else takes over or until the decision is made because of the delay.

Ways to Cope
These behaviors are annoying and can be very upsetting. They keep everyone, but the difficult person, off balance. This can be true even though they may not be trying to control others. Coping balances the power between people. It helps everyone get things done without stalling at the roadblocks difficult people set up. When someone practices difficult behaviors around you, here are few suggestions:

• For bullies, stand up for yourself. Use phrases like "I believe" or "I feel." Don’t try to fight them. Instead, make your point firmly.
• Let gripers know you’ve heard their concern. Directly ask, "What is it you want?"
• For silent types, ask questions that must be answered by more than "yes" or "no." If you get no response, let the silent type know your plans.
• Very nice people have a strong need to be liked–show them that you do. Then, dig to find out what’s really happening.
• Don’t argue with "just say no" types. Instead, suggest what won’t work before they do.
• For "I know better" types, have all the facts before you meet. Raise possible problems, and be ready to follow through.
• Listen to stallers to find out what the real reason for the delay is. Help them, and ask them for help.
• Talk with a counselor and get suggestions for dealing with difficult personality types.
• If your company has an EAP (Employee Assistance Program), you may be able to receive free counseling and advice.