Helping Each Other

Oct 30th, 2008

30-Day Self-Care Challenge (Part III) Day 30

While in the sauna tonight, I had a vision of the perfect universal symbol for personal growth and development.  Imagine someone reaching up to the sky with an open hand and reaching down toward the earth with the other hand.  Their upstretched hand is clasped by someone who is higher up on the mountain of life.  And the hand reaching toward the earth is clasped by someone who is further down the mountain side. 

There is no judgment about who is higher or lower down on the mountain.  Those higher up may have had more support, more innate talent, fewer obstacles, or more drive.  Those lower down may have had little or no support, less innate talent, more obstacles, or less drive.  Again, no judgment. 

Looking at life in this way can keep us from feeling too smug and judgmental or hopeless and victimized.  We are where we are.  Each of us is getting a hand up and each of us is giving someone else a hand up. 

11 Self-Care Tips for the Cold Season

Oct 28th, 2008

30-Day Self-Care Challenge (Part III) Day 28

Self-care is your best defense during cold season which tends to run from September until March or April.

Because colds are caused by viruses, there is no cure for the common cold. Antibiotics do not kill these viruses and can lead to resistant strains of bacteria. Prevention is the best approach to combat the cold virus. However, once it’s taken hold, the best you can do is try to minimize your symptoms. The following self-care tips should help.

At Home Self-Care

1. GARGLE with salt water to help soothe a sore throat. Mix 1/4 teaspoon of plain salt in a glass of very warm water.
2. Increase FLUIDS such as water, juice, hot tea, soups, etc. Hot liquids can help relieve nasal congestion & soothe a sore throat.
3. WASH your hands often.
4. EAT regular, well-balanced meals.
5. STAY HOME and get more REST. SLEEP at least 7-9 hours per night.
6. If you have trouble sleeping because of stuffy nose or nasal drainage, use extra pillows to PROP yourself up at a 45° angle.
7. Use soothing music, peaceful surroundings, rest, and/or a fun book to relax and combat pain.
8. AVOID smoke & alcohol. They can aggravate and prolong symptoms.
9. Take HOT steamy SHOWERS — helps suppress coughs and loosen congestion.
10. Use HUMIDIFIER or VAPORIZER to keep air moist and sooth irritated nasal and throat passages.
11. Use a MENTHOLATED OINTMENT around your nose. This will help open breathing passages and soothe irritated skin.

If your symptoms do not gradually improve within 7 days and/or you experience other symptoms, see your health care provider.

Flower Power – Vitamin F

Oct 25th, 2008

30-Day Self-Care Challenge (Part III) Day 25

I enjoy making bouquets all year long.  I love big, tall bouquets and short, tiny ones.  The best bouquets are made up of flowers either from my yard or from my walks in nature.  Next best are the $3 bundles from Aldi’s. 

I used to get frustrated when roses wouldn’t open…their heads closed and drooping.  Then I asked a florist how to avoid this disappointment.  She said to select roses that are not tightly closed.  Look for roses that are partially open.  Bingo!  Now I can get the $3 bouquets of roses from Aldi’s that provide several days of joy, without the droopy disappointment.  I bought two bundles today and they’re opening nicely.

If you’re a fan of Feng Shui, you’ll enjoy this little video.  I found it fascinating.  I agree that flowers boost our mood and sense of well-being.

Why Men Lose Weight Faster Than Women

Oct 24th, 2008

30-Day Self-Care Challenge (Part III) Day 24

More on Multitasking

Oct 20th, 2008

30-Day Self-Care Challenge (Part III) Day 20

Here are two more articles on multitasking from the NPR series:

Multitasking Teens May be Muddling Their Brains

Think You’re Multitasking? Think Again

Multitasking Diminishes Pleasure

Oct 18th, 2008

30-Day Self-Care Challenge (Part III) Day 18

We all think we’re good at multitasking.  We are certain that we can drive and talk on the phone, watch TV and eat snacks, watch TV and talk to our children, knit and listen to the television, study and watch TV, and read and listen to music without missing anything.  Recent studies have shown, that we aren’t as good at at it as we think.  The brain doesn’t function as well with more than one focus. Our attention becomes split. 

I know that multitasking doesn’t work when I’m on the phone and my computer at the same time.  While having an interesting conversation with one of my sisters tonight, I was also trying to do some mindless moving around of files–she called while I was immersed in this task.  Sure I could do both–I appeared to be successful–but I missed the enjoyment of talking with her.  I heard part or maybe even most of what she said, but I didn’t feel it and enjoy it as much as I would if I had been fully focused.  And what a shame that is.  I missed a chance for pure pleasure.

I faked attention and I think I did pretty well, but to what end?  I did two things poorly.  If we watch TV and eat snacks, we almost always overeat yet still feel hungry.  If we do not focus fully on eating the snacks, we miss the pleasure and we want more.  If we don’t fully listen to our children while they’re talking to us, they want more. 

At this moment, I’m making a rule that I will not talk on the phone to a friend if they are also on their computer.  It’s simply not satisfying.  And I certainly will honor my friends with the same rule giving them my undivided attention.  How about you?  Do  you get a sense for how much more pleasure you could have in life if you did just one thing at a time?

Don't Over Function

Oct 13th, 2008

30-Day Self-Care Challenge (Part III) Day 13

This morning when getting ready to leave the house for the day, I worried about whether to leave Toby (my new dog) in the house or outside.  Although I have two dog houses, he has no interest in either of them.  If I put a dog treat in there, he sneaks in, gets, it and then quickly gets outta there.  The over functioning side of me wonders if he has a dog-house phobia and will be cold and soaking wet when I return.  The weather forecast looks awful. 

Actually, the forecast isn’t awful–it just seems that way because I’m at a decision point.  In truth, it’s a typical fall day in Kansas and the rain will be good for the grass seed that I put down last week and the fall colors will be more brilliant.

In the uncomfortable space of not knowing what to do, I remembered the lesson of over functioning.  It goes like this – if in a relationship you take on all the worry about the family debt, the in-laws, interpersonal communications, and a thousand other things, you’re over functioning and the other person gets to under function because they know you’ve got it (the worry) covered.  If you back off and stop worrying, then the other person (teenager, spouse, friend, employee, colleague) has a chance to step forward and think “I better give this some thought because she isn’t!”

When someone over functions, their energy advances aggressively toward toward you and your natural reaction is to step back, and back, and back–depending on how much they’re over functioning. 

The same thing can happen in a conversation.  If one person does all the talking (over functions), the other person steps back and gets quiet (under functions).  This isn’t a judgement call, it’s just what happens.  We all under and over function at times.  However, chronic over functioning can be an indication that you think the other can’t handle it…..and you can. 

There is no “up side” to over functioning.  Instead, it messes up the communication/energy dynamic, wears you out, stresses you out, and makes you mad at the other for making you responsible for everything! 

I could have over functioned with Toby this morning and left him inside and been stressed about it all.  But my instinct said, leave him outside and see how he does.  When I came home he was a little wet but not soaked–so he obviously functioned well.  If I had over functioned and left him inside, I’d have to go through that worry each time it rained and got a little cold.  Now I know he’ll be OK.  We’re both much happier.  I’m proud of myself and of him – we functioned well – neither over or under, but just right.  The middle way (between the extremes) brings peace. 

Isn’t he a cutie   It’s easier to be a spouse or parent, to be in relationships, to have pets, and to be in the world…when you don’t over function very often.

Have a nice day!

Oct 8th, 2008

30-Day Self-Care Challenge (Part III) Day 8

This is one of those times when a photo is worth 1,000 words.

Overwhelmed? Answer the Small Questions

Oct 6th, 2008

30-Day Self-Care Challenge (Part III) Day 6

A good friend of mine is a social worker at a mental health facility. Sometimes she counsels me (thank goodness!)

Today I told her I was a bit overwhelmed. In her wisdom she said “if you can’t answer the big questions (like how to get back in balance), answer the small ones.” That works for me!

Have you ever noticed that the more stressed you are, the more you lay big fat questions on yourself – like “What’s wrong with my life!” or “Where did I go wrong?” We tend to catastrophize under stress.

So if you can’t answer, “How can I fix my life” you may be able to answer, “What can I fix for dinner.” Big difference. Smart woman.

Not only do I have one friend who is a counselor–I have two! That’s an important element of self-care: surrounding yourself with friends and other people who elevate you and your thinking. Do your friends lift you up when you need it? Or do they bring you down? If they bring you down on a regular basis, develop new relationships with people who raise your vibration. Phase out the low vibes.