Are You a Self-Help Junkie?

Jul 16th, 2004

Take this little quiz to see if you’re a self-help junkie.

1. Do you forever put off things that you know you should do now?
2. Do you feel remorse for this and start talking bad about yourself?
3. Do you feel a great deal of dread in life, and feel like life is one big TO-DO list?
4. Is it hard for you to start something?
5. Is it hard for you to finish something?
6. Would you rather read about how to do something rather than do it (dejunk, get fit, eat well, meditate, etc?)
7. When you feel the urge to get on top of something (file, exercise, declutter), do you go buy a book and read about it first or take a class?
8. Do you take all the self-help courses that come to a neighborhood near you, even if they’re expensive…because you think "This is it! This will work!." Then you forget about it and move onto the next offer of hope?
9. Are you like a hungry baby bird with your mouth open waiting for the big mommy or daddy to feed you the answer?
10. Do you succumb to the emotion-based promises made by marketers, as if you are in a dream?
11. And when you wake up from the dream (after buying their product), do you still have the original problem and no plan to handle it?
12. Do you use self-help activity as a salve for your wounds and feelings of failure?

Ouch! How many did you answer yes to? The more yes answers you have, the more triage (immediate help) you need. If it bugs you that you’re an outted self-help junkie, there is something you can do about it. Stop doing it! Read each item again; think about ways you get hooked into the same old behavior, and choose to do it differently. Think, "How can I do this more successfully," and see what comes to you.

Don’t ask negative questions like "Why do I always screw this up?" because your mind will look for answers to that question. Ask a better quality question that will bring you better quality answers. Are you just a simple procrastinator, or are you a self-help junkie? I’m not sure this distinction matters. What matters is that you start living the life that makes you feel good, makes you feel successful, makes you feel that you’re on top of it. Continually avoiding action feels bad. Make a list of common things you avoid doing. Here’s a sampler list:

• paying bills
• balancing the checkbook
• making phone calls
• looking for a job
• saying you’re sorry and making peace with someone
• taking a vacation
• meditating
• paying off your credit cards and getting out of debt
• filing papers
• decluttering your house, garage, basement, office, off-site storage
• exercising
• relaxing
• starting or finishing a project
• cleaning out your email inbox
• cooking healthful meals
• getting the roof fixed
• weeding your garden
• clipping your dog’s toenails

Determine RIGHT NOW what thing you will start action on today! And do it. You do know that beginning is the hardest thing. Right? So begin now and the rest will be simpler.

My Commitment

I’ve been avoiding adding weight training into my fitness program. I’ve been avoiding it for a long, long time. This weekend I commit to lifting weights one day and at least one day a week from then on. When I get comfortable with that, I will add one more day a week. Starting small is very good. It’s easy to start small and build.

I’ve also dragged my feet in creating a weekly menu. This Sunday I will write a menu and be sure I have the groceries that I need for the week. I will re-evaluate and see if I can commit to doing it again for a week. Commitments don’t have to be all or nothing. They can start with a trial period and then build.

What will you commit to?

Here’s Some Inspiration

Do you know what happens when you give a procrastinator a good idea? Nothing! ~ Donald Gardner ~

Do not wait; the time will never be "just right." Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along. ~ Napoleon Hill ~

Procrastination is my sin. It brings me naught but sorrow. I know that I should stop it. In fact, I will–tomorrow! ~ Gloria Pitzer ~

Comments Please – What came up for you as you read this post? Would love for to click on the comment link below and let us know.

Tasty Tip – Think Global, Buy Local

Jul 14th, 2004

There is nothing like a tasty local peach, strawberry, or tomato. Such juice and flavor – yum. Fresh and local is nothing like the produce that has been picked prematurely, shipped great distances, and finally ripens (hopefully) in the grocery store, or more accurately after you bring it home. How many dud peaches, pears, or apples have you gotten that are grainy with no flavor or big beautiful strawberries without flavor, or pithy dry oranges?

If you want your recipes to taste great, you have got to start with food that tastes great to begin with. Using fresh fruits and vegetables in your salads, soups, stir-fries and smoothies makes all the difference. Yes?

Tomatoes – One Superb Example We have all eaten pale store-bought tomatoes. Yucky Pooh! Hothouse tomatoes and tomatoes picked green do not have much flavor (any?) – yucky tomatoes. Buy plump, ripe, locally grown tomatoes for the best possible taste. Locally grown (or home grown) vegetables taste best because they are picked in their prime, and they have higher quality nutrients for the same reason. And the soil they have been grown in usually has not been messed up by tons of chemicals and overgrowing.

So What Should You Do to Get Great Produce?

* Does your city have a Farmers’ Market? Definitely shop there if you have one for fresher, tastier, higher quality produce. You can get acquainted with the local farmers and ask how their food was grown. Many use little or no pesticides or chemical fertilizers (my preference for sure).

* Do you have a vegetable subscription program in your area where farmers form a coop or alliance to provide their fresh produce to people who buy a weekly subscription?

* If you live near "u-pick" farms, definitely take an outing there during seasonal picking sprees. You can pick the very best, commune with nature, see the farming operation, and support local commerce. It is fun and economical. And be sure to bring your children. Education starts early about food choices. If they pick it they will be more likely to eat it. Try it. You will be amazed at the truth of that statement. Yes they will eat green beans and okra and blueberries, and zucchini. Yep. It is true.

More Reasons to Buy Local, Seasonal Produce Whenever Possible

* To support the local farmers. Farmers need your business to stay in business. If we want to have access to good food, we need to keep doing business with them.

* To get higher quality food. When food is grown locally, it is picked at its prime when the nutrients are the most fully developed (and the flavor too).

* To reduce costs (including environmental costs) associated with transporting foods cross-country or internationally. When foods have to be transported great distances, they are usually picked before they are ripe in flavor and nutrients.

My Little Exception

I confess that I do buy some things out of season from other countries or states that have been shipped long distances to me (and probably grown with more pesticides) – bananas, pineapples, avocados, and mangos. Bad, bad Cheryl. But life is too short to be perfect. I will be perfect when I’m dead (no wise cracks). Point is, do not get crazy about your food. Make wise, conscious choices and do the best you can.

Comments Please. How do you feel about buying locally? Click on the comments link below.

Stamp Out Stupidity with Me

Jul 13th, 2004

i’m hoppin’ mad. it’s 101 degrees at 3:30pm in kansas, and i just got back from a quick walk around the block. no, that’s not the stupid part of this story. as i was heading back i passed two women who parked their car in the full sun to go into one of the state office buildings. their windows were down 2 inches and there was a small dog barking inside. of course, i stopped to show my concern. they said they’d just be in the building for a few minutes. but even 5 minutes in 101 degree temp with the sun beating down into their windshield, it would quickly get scorching in there–yes, even in 5 minutes. and when you (the human) are cool and comfy and on an errand, 5 minutes can quickly turn into 20. let’s say they didn’t get what they needed and were sent to another agency, or they wanted to stop and get a pop, or they saw somebody they hadn’t seen in ages. g-r-r-r-r-r-r-r. i don’t want to read one more story about a child left in a hot car (even 70 degrees can get hot fast in some circumstances) or a dog or even groceries! g-r-r-r-r-r-r. and yes, they heeded my warning and brought the dog with them.

what made me so mad was that they couldn’t figure out how serious this situation was by themselves. if i hadn’t happened by, that little doggie might have gotten very sick or died. please help me stamp out stupidity and spread the word about the dangers of leaving ANY living thing in the car when it’s hot while we run an errand. and why not just leave the poor creatures at home if it’s not critical that they come along!

A little experiment

those women should do a little experiment. put on a fur coat, roll the windows down two inches and draw straws to see which one will sit in the hot car while the other one runs an errand in the cool air conditioned building. that would be telling.

Update

i just found out that several cities have laws about leaving children or pets unattended in hot cars. check to see if your city has one and press them to get one if they don’t. here’s one such ordinance in lawrence,ks (makes me proud to be a kansan): It is "unlawful for any person to leave any animal confined in a vehicle for more than five (5) minutes in extreme weather conditions, defined as less than thirty degrees Fahrenheit or more than 80 degrees Fahrenheit" (section 3-105 of the Lawrence City code). Violation of the ordinance is punishable by a minimum fine of $100.00 and a maximum fine of $1,000.00 per offense. The Municipal Judge does not have authority to suspend the minimum fine. In addition, the Municipal Judge does have authority to sentence the convicted defendant to a maximum six (6) month sentence in jail.

To, Too, Two

Jul 9th, 2004

As an Enlish major and writing instructor (past lifetime) and lover of words,  Ilike to think about writing, write, and write about writing. Now and then I include grammar lessons in this blog. I you’re up for that, here goes.

I think everybody knows how to use "to" – I am going to the store. And most people know how to use "two" – A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. Numbers are spelled one, two, three, etc.

But lots of people misspell "too" – Here are some correct examples of usage: I am going too. Did you enjoy that tofu too? I don’t think I’ll be too late. Dictionary definition of too – 1) also, besides (I’m going too) 2) to an excessive degree (too much food) 3) so (you did too! or nu-huh!)

Cheater’s tip If you can’t remember how to spell too, just avoid using it. I always avoid using who and whom because I can’t remember what’s correct….and because I never want to use whom (yucky uptight language) unless I’m referring to the book, for whom the bell tolls.

Ways to avoid using too (if you can’t remember how to spell it):

* Are you going with them vs are you going too

* Can I have a pickle vs can I have one too (actually you also should avoid this usage because the correct phrasing would be may I have one too (yucky uptight language)

* Will tofu work in this recipe vs Is tofu too bland for this recipe (the second sentence is actually more specific and therefore a better sentence). It’s better to misspell something and write clearly than it is to spell everything correctly and communicate like a dud.

That’s enough for this lesson

Who's Stumbling on the Planet These Days?

Jul 8th, 2004

There are way too many stories to enumerate, so i’ll just talk about one. but to set the scene……….do you ever get the feeling that humans are in a crisis? that we’re headed for big trouble? that we’re ready to join the dinasaurs in extinction? frankly sometimes i don’t know how we can put one foot in front of the other successfully.

this morning i got a call from an agency that one of their employees was murdered at a car wash last night and their employees needed critical incident counseling sessions with our employee assistance program. the victim’s wife worked at the same agency so around 40 employees were in shock, turmoil, dismay, and total grief. i haven’t got all the details but this man was at a car wash and an argument started between him and two teenagers. they shot him dead in front of his family who was in the car ready to get washed. he was 39, an environmental scientist, and probably not somebody who would say something like "bring ‘em on."

with the war in iraq and bloody battles around the planet, it’s mystifying to me that we continue to find new ways to torment, torture, and kill each other. and powerful individuals and groups continue to amass elicit fortunes while losing their souls. as a human my first thoughts is, what in the heck is going on here? how can we be so screwed up? and as a coach my first thought is, what’s the problem here and what can be done about it? i need to do some more thinking about this, but my first thought is that people do not know how to get their deep needs met….needs like love, security, committment, fullfillment, abundance, acceptance, honor, power, understanding, appreciation, and on and on.

thomas leonard produced a great program to help people get their needs met. it’s called the needless program.  it’s a good program. it looks to me like job 1 is getting our needs met. it may sound simple because we think sure: tv, ice cream, shopping spree, sex, etc. those are gratifying but they don’t meet our deep needs. i guess first we need to get clear on what our needs are. then maybe we can meet them. then maybe we can stop torturing and killing each other. stop stealing from each other. stop trying to be better than each other.

Sitting on the Deck

Jul 5th, 2004

sitting on my deck last week, i noticed two sets of baby birds in my red bud tree – doves and robins. i know very little about baby birds so i watched with delight as the mothers fed the babies. the babies sit with their mouths open a lot – demanding attention. dove mothers repeatedly jam the food down the throats of the young – a rather violent action (undove like?) the robin mothers poke the food into their young just once or twice – gently.

the baby doves always sit together, one facing one direction, the other facing the other direction. the dove and robin "children" never hang out together, though today one baby robin hopped down to check out the baby doves sunning on the ground. even though the babies fly around easily (they’re full size), looking almost like adults, they still demand food. there must be something about getting food that they still can’t do (or maybe they just don’t want to).

they seemed a little bit like spoiled brats to me. because they look a lot like adults, when they land in the tree i look closely to see if they are the adults or babies. their feathers aren’t fully developed and their coloring is a work in progress. now i see less and less of them–they’re growing up and moving away and

I’m staying inside blogging and eating peaches. i guess we just all do what we do.